With a weekend as successful as I did, you know you can get through anything. Seriously- fucking anything. Starting off with a discouraging, down-in-the-dumperaoos-kind-of week really can make one think the weekend is not going to be any better. What’s up with all this negative nancyin’ around? Ha- what am I thinking, just read my other posts, I’m clearly a pessimistic, over analytical asshole- but, I know it. You just don’t know it about yourself yet, that’s all. That is all.
Now Presenting: Chicago was a wee idea I had prior to my move here but never really had the time nor the resources to finish said project. Fortunately, (and more so unfortunately) being nearly evicted really speeds up the creative juices and really gets that energy going. I had to do it as soon as possible due to the fact that I didn’t know if I was going to have an apartment. But(t), I’m still here- I’m still home-full. The idea behind the name? I hope (and I’ll see to it that I do) that through my traveling & moving in the next 5-6 years will take me all over the place. I was trying to find some common thread for the next few years in a sort of creative-arts direction. (the next one? a hopeful Now Presenting: San Francisco or a Now Presenting: New York City) A blog was the first thing I thought of- but filming/recording..a lot less discipline and a lot more stimulating (well actually, let me take that the fuck back because recently, these blog posts are really doing wonders for me, creatively. Since I’m not in school- this is the most amount of “English” I have. I’m glad I’m still able to remember words, grammar (ha), etc. Sort of?) So the blog idea was quickly shut out- very quickly. This brought me to a documentary idea- the lazy filmmaker’s way out of storyboarding and really taking the time to create a thorough piece of art. Ha, that insult really hits me the hardest, but it really is true. More so a documentary/music/video idea, not a documentary music video. And so it began and so it begins.
The night started with some chatting and discussion of music, alongside a delicious bottle of cabernet and music galore blaring out of the five speakers I set up around my living room/kitchen. The conversations deepening, the people multiplying, the music elevating, and the alcohol slowly disappearing- it’s exactly what I needed. What happened for the last three hours was the greatest, most successful execution of filming I’ve ever had. People going up to the mic and doing their thing- goofy or not, it was soul-ed fill-ed and I couldn’t ask for anything better or a better group. Talent lies in most of us (most of us, some of us- no) and just the right outlet can power that inner, lingering talent. Music, sincerely, brings people together. As cliche and broad as that sounds- I have footage of music bringing people together. Well, I’m sure the wine is doing its business as well, but really- Holy Fuck people were into it. It was absolutely fantastic. One more time, it was ABSOLUTELY fucking fantastic. Something about a cheap mic, jank recording equipment, a guitar, keyboard, and ultimate-guitar- it instills confidence in the few people who want to have their moment of shine- a moment of clarity. And it did just that and that’s what this video is for. Above my love for making music, all sorts from hip hop to instrumental avante garde , I love music. I love the head boppin’, hip swingin’, sing a long fuckin’ feeling you get when anything plays. Regardless of genre (with the exception of pop country. Taylor Swift, you should not be as famous as you are and what doctor squeezed your face in when you were born? Also, classic rock is not my cup of tea, but I’ll have the respect because I don’t want middle-age suburban husbands gettin’ all angry at me after they punch out of the cubicle they work in! Now who’d want that? They have to get home and have a silent dinner with his family and pretend to enjoy “the little things” like watching the game with a beer when in fact his whole life ended when he decided to settle down with a bitchy housewife and four midgets.), music is beautiful. Real music. Soulful music- and Chicago’s got it! Chicago’s got Soul and now Chicago’s got Seoul. (As in me. I’m Korean. Seoul, Korea). Successful night indeed.
The most successful relationships I have, and por favor I apologize for the shallow, childish reference but I want to see what my brain organizes with these situations, had were in high school/beginning of college. Oddly enough, I’m blocked by both of them on facebook- yikes! Well, not too much I suppose. You know how ex’s work- at least ones that end badly. You would think having somewhat of a successful relationship with the two individuals, I’d be able to end it cordially- nope! It’s my curse. And you know what, it’s karma. Honestly? Never really believed in it. Mostly because I did/do a lot of bad things, and nothing really bad happens to me. Or at least nothing I really care about (as you may have picked up, the worrying portion of my brain was sucked dry by the LSD leeching on to it). But I came to the realization that it’s true and it happens, but some of us just don’t care. That’s when karma doesn’t matter. You accept it, move on, and dodge the bullets while trudging forward. Amy and I were on a shaky trail towards the end when I met Ally. One thing led to another and I dropped Amy to further on this new relationship. No regrets there- it’s the last year that has these “regrets”. Amy found out after I posted (God again please forgive me for these stupid ass facebook references, this is what I’m thinking right now. Fast forward past this paragraph) I had began a relationship, with someone else. And that was the last time I ever talked to her- two years ago? three years ago? Who knows. I’ve been feeling guilty since, but it looks like she’s doing swell, so no hard feelings internet Amy, no hard feelings. Ironically & similarly, I had that happen to me with Ally. Now now, I know what you’re thinking. Calling out the name of the person you’re about dissect? On a blog? Cowardly? ..or courageous? Eh, pretty cowardly, but bitches I don’t care! To continue- she broke up with me while I was in Chicago, her in Michigan. Right over the interweb- super classy. Then she started dating someone else that weekend I came back to get her back. And I was just sitting there on my couch at home and just feeling like the worst utter shit a person could feel. You’re surrounded by the media telling you to “go for it” and behind that meaning is “if it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen” and behind that is “it’s mostly likely not going to happen” and behind that is “finish your drink and sleep it off”. Now that was back in October. A few weeks in, I realized the similar trend that I had done and what she had done. Love is mathematics- well this kind of love. Superficial, temporary love- juvenile really. My warning to the former- love isn’t healthy transitioning for one “love” to the other. There is a time of sustaining independence that builds the heart and creates the wall to keep it stronger. But again, superficial, temporary, juvenile. Ho ho. On a comical note, what really pushes my buttons was the terrible music and film you enjoyed and the amount of culture shock I threw at you. I got nothing in return- NOTHING. I got the new Jonas Brothers album along with some more shitty music. There was no even trade. Suburban ignorance. Gotta remember that for the next fish I hook in. Suburban ma’fu’n ignorance.
That last paragraph is going to get me into trouble, but I love it. I ask you, can I kick it? And I’ll say, yes I can.